Dear American Apparel: ‘You’re Tacky and I Hate You’

6 Jan

Dear American Apparel,

There’s something I’ve been meaning to talk to about, that I need to get off my chest. Now look, I love the idea of you, withamericanapparel1 your minimalist designs and multicolour options. It’s just a shame, that you know those nano particles the smart guys over in Cern are trying to find? You know, the ones that are so small it’s debatable whether they even exist? Yeah? Well it appears that your clothes are made for people whose BMI can only be calculated by firing up the Hadron Collider and making scientific breakthroughs to discover it.

To put this into perspective, I am a healthy size 10 ( or an American size 4), or an unhealthy one when I displace traditional food groups in favour of caffeine and stress. And yet, in your clothes I need to wear a Large in order to squeeze my seemingly Ent-like thighs into them. Even then getting out of them is akin to sucking sausage meat through a straw. You need the agility of a sea creature that has no spine and is composed solely of mush and sex drive to get into your dresses. I can see why the models on your website wear so little clothing, by the time they’ve extricated themselves from them they’ll have aged so much their only possible modelling demographic will be with Country Casuals.

You need to be careful with those girls, your advertising campaigns has gotten you into some hot water before. As recently as last December you were accused of using suspiciously young looking girls in rather sexually suspicious poses and your campaign was banned. In fact your entire company is streaked with sexual abuse accusations which include your CEO exploiting his female employees for sex. One employee noted that your CEO ‘doesn’t have a speck of socially responsibility in his DNA’- so much for your ‘Legalise Gay’ campaign.

It’s hard not to notice that the women’s section of your website is advertised entirely through scantily clad women bent over bits of office equipment whilst the men’s section features preppy male models fully clothed standing upright, outside. You understand that seeing a cheeky bit of nipple attached to neon pair of tights does not in any way encourage me to buy that pair of tights? Nipples neither shock nor entice me. I’m female. This means I have my own set.

Through your advertising you imply that hypersexualisation is something to aspire to, that it’s glamorous and desirable. It’s this kind of irresponsible behaviour from corporations that leads to young women not realising when they’re being abused or exploited or treated derogatively, because that’s what they think being an adult woman is.

So really, the more I think about, the more I don’t love the idea of you. In the words of the camp one from School of Rock ‘you’re tacky and I hate you’. You are essentially an overpriced Uni Qlo for the Upper Middle classes. Next time I want to dress attractively I’m going to stretch one of those net bags you buy oranges in over my own pair of nipples and achieve the same effect as many of your clothes. It’ll be much cheaper and I won’t put my shoulder out trying to take it off.

Yours.

Ro

2 Responses to “Dear American Apparel: ‘You’re Tacky and I Hate You’”

  1. Pri January 6, 2013 at 2:10 am #

    I agree with your sentiments, and I was a bit disappointed that some Canadian investors decided to help the company out.

    • Rosslyn McNair January 8, 2013 at 8:37 pm #

      Well their clothes are quite nice! It’s just a shame that they’re so bizarrely sized and crudely advertised, the company needs a whole new make over, we can only hope that the investors have a speck of social responsibility.

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